The Next Step

A good friend of mine is finishing up some time in Burkina Faso, Africa. She posted this today... I'm quoting the whole entry.

September 12, 2008 — “God, I am continuing to pray about this year and the upcoming year. Lord, I want to be your vessel I want to help further your kingdom. I desire for people to know about you. People that don’t already know about you. God, I pray that you would reveal to me what it is you have in store for my life, specifically post-grad plans…God, I have this desire to teach abroad. I have a heart for Africa, the poor and children…God, I want to do bold, courageous, beautiful, amazing, wonderful things for your kingdom.”

I wrote this prayer before God had even placed Burkina Faso on my heart. Fast forward to today and I find myself praying the same prayer, except now, instead of post-grad plans, I am asking the Lord, “What is your will for my life post-Burkina?” As my time begins to come to an end here, I have a constant battle going on in my head. I could find so many reasons to stay in Burkina and yet, I could find so many reasons to go home. Today is another day where I find myself saying, “God, I trust you. Really, I do and I’m at peace not knowing what it is you have in store for me next…whatever it is Lord, I will go where you send me.”

This morning I woke up with every intention of working a lot on finishing writing first grade curriculum and preparing school materials for next school year and while there is still time to get work done, I can’t help but have a heavy, saddened heart. This morning I had the opportunity to help a local pastor and a few others (including some of the teachers from school) make mud bricks for the pastor’s new church in Yako. It was a great time and pictures will definitely be posted the next time I am in Ouaga. After working for a while under the strong African sun, I returned back to my house to give my clothes to Maimounata, so she could wash them.

After Maimounata was finished, I walked her to my courtyard door and said goodbye. Seconds later, I heard a sweet, little voice down the street shout, “O-lee-vee-a, O-lee-vee-a.” I turned my head to see my 9-year old neighbor Nadia smiling and waving at me. I motioned to her to come over. In my not-so-fluent French, we made a little small talk.

I explained, “Nadia, I want to play games and color, just like we did a few weeks ago, but I have a lot of work I have to get done today, but I will invite you over another day, especially because I only have one month left here. Did you know I am leaving to go back to the United States at the end of May?”

After hearing this, Nadia became very quiet and her big, beautiful brown eyes welled up with tears.

I asked, “Are you crying because you are sick?” Nadia shook her head.

“Did someone say something that hurt your feelings?” Again, she shook her head.

“Are you crying because I am leaving soon?” to which she replied yes by nodding her head.

Trying not to well up with tears myself, I gave her a kiss on the cheek and a big hug.

“Oh Nadia, my pretty girl, you are so special. I think you are so special and God does too. I love you. Don’t cry, I will be here for another month. We have lots of time to spend together,” I explained.

She continued to cry. I invited her into my courtyard and brought a cup of Kool-Aid outside for both of us and we sat on the porch. Nadia started to come around and talk to me a little. This sweet, little 9 year old has quite a story, which I had heard from Lynn, but after finishing our Kool-Aid, Nadia personally shared her story with me. While holding Nadia in my arms and rocking her back and forth on my front porch, she noticed a calendar on the table next to us. She picked it up and I began to say the name of each month.

When I got to June, she said, “That is the month my mother died. She died on a Tuesday.”

Nadia continued, “My mother was in a fire, her clothing caught on fire, and she caught on fire. We were at my grandmother’s house, which is not too far from here. Boris (my friend and also an employee of Lynn) was there. My Mom died at the hospital.”

“Were you at your house when this happened?” I asked.

She responded, “Yes.”

“Oh Nadia, I am so sorry. That is not easy. How old were you when this happened?” I asked.

“I was 4 years old,” she said.

Tears began streaming down her face and mine as well, as I listened. Crying is a symbol of weakness in this culture, and holding Nadia, watching her cry, I felt as if these were tears that had been held inside for 5 years. After her mother died, her father, who lives in the same town, opted to send her to live in another courtyard near me to be cared for by a friend of the family. In Burkina, a child is considered to be an orphan if one or both parents are not present in their life. So, this sweet, little girl at the tender age of 4 lost not only a Mom, but also a Dad and she became an orphan. The family whom she was sent to live with has provided the basics for her- shelter, food, and clothing, but her emotional needs have been neglected and from the sounds I hear at night in my courtyard, beatings have become a frequent occurrence in her life. My heart breaks for children who are mistreated and seeing Nadia grow up without anyone to really care for her is no different. If only I could take children in these types of situations home with me and care for them. After Nadia shared her story with me, we had a good conversation about Jesus, who he is, how much he loves us, and how if we ask him to live in our heart, we can spend eternity with him. While I can love Nadia during my time here, I know that Nadia needs and longs for a greater love, a love that can only be found in Christ.

Based on the day’s events, it is so hard to think about leaving, but I say again, “Lord, I trust you and am at peace with not knowing what the next step is. Your faithful and I know that in your perfect timing, you will show me where it is you desire for me to be.” So, with one month remaining of my time here in Burkina, I am clinging to Him- to His promises, to the hope found in Him, to His love, to His faithfulness, and to His strength.

Persecution in India: Francis' Response from Cornerstone Church on Vimeo.

UPDATE: Apparently this video has been made private.
Check out: http://www.gfa.org/persecution/orissa/ for more information.

Google vs. God

I saw this video and thought.... "Wow! How cool would it be to see the evolution of my searches over the years!"



Not 5 minutes later, I was perusing my Google reader, and came across this article by Tim Challies.

Here's an excerpt from the Wikipedia article about the event his article references:

On August 4, 2006, AOL Research, headed by Dr. Abdur Chowdhury, released a compressed text file on one of its websites containing twenty million search keywords for over 650,000 users over a 3-month period, intended for research purposes. AOL pulled the file from public access by the 7th, but not before it had been mirrored and distributed on the Internet. While none of the records on the file are personally identifiable per se, certain keywords contain personally identifiable information as a result of the original searcher typing in his or her own name (ego-searching), as well as address, social security number, and other personal information. And since each user is identified on this list by a unique sequential key, it enables a researcher to compile a given user's search history. The New York Times was able to locate an individual from the released and anonymized search records by cross referencing them with phonebook listings. Consequently, the ethical implications of using this data for research are under debate. AOL acknowledged it was a mistake and removed the data, although the files can still be downloaded from mirror sites. Additionally, several searchable databases of the report also exist on the internet.

So yeah... this story is almost 4 years old, but this was the first I heard about it... so there.

But this got me thinking... I wonder what Google's perspective of me is. He (for the sake of writing, Google is a man) has listened patiently to everything I've told him for YEARS! He has kindly and efficiently replied each and every time to the best of his ability to provide me with the answers I was seeking. If Google could reply to me, offer commentary on our "conversations," what would he say?

Then I read things like this progression of searches over time from one specific Anonymous searcher:

chai tea calories
calories in bananas
aftermath of incest
how to tell your family you're a victim of incest
pottery barn
curtains
surgical help for depression
oakland raiders comforter set
can you adopt after a suicide attempt
who is not allowed to adopt
i hate men
medication to enhance female desire
jobs in denver colorado
teaching positions in denver colorado
how long will the swelling last after my tummy tuck
divorce laws in ohio
free remote keyloggers
baked macaroni and cheese with sour cream
how to deal with anger
teaching jobs with the denver school system
marriage counseling tips
anti psychotic drugs

And my heart breaks.

As Challies mentions in his article...

What is so amazing about these searches is the way people transition seamlessly from the normal and mundane to the outrageous and perverse. They are, thus, an apt reflection of real life. The user who is in one moment searching for information about a computer game may in the next be looking for the most violent pornography he can imagine... These searches are a glimpse into the hearts of the people who made them.

Think about the massive weight that Google would be under if he were actually a human confidant of such information! How could ANYONE handle this?

One way of dealing with our meaningless cares and desires on one hand and our deepest darkest trash at the same time is to be an emotionless being who cared nothing at all about what happened to us. This is the picture of what Google actually is. It is designed to answer, not care. It is designed to produce results, not fix the problem.

However, what if there was a being that cared so greatly for your concern about the "kanye west vs. taylor swift" stuff AND cared to the same degree about your "why shouldn't i commit suicide" stuff? What would that look like to you? What if instead of getting a result that led you down a path that you can never be sure of, there was a being whose sole purpose was to take your shortcomings and mold them, restore them, fix them to where you look beautiful in his eyes? But not only his eyes, but your eyes as well. Can you imagine being in a place where that search history is gone? Totally wiped away? No more do you have to deal with the shame about that time in grade school where this thing happened that you can't talk to anyone about.

This is the picture of Jesus Christ. Jesus endured the weight of all our multitudinous ramblings -- good, bad and in-between. He carried it all for us on the cross where he died WITH them, and was raised victorious OVER them a few days later.

John Bunyan in Pilgrim's Progress creates a wonderful picture of this:

Christian ran till he came to a hill; upon it stood a cross, and a little below was a tomb.

So I saw in my dream, that just as Christian came up to the cross, his burden loosed from off his shoulders, and fell from off his back, and began to tumble, and so continued to do till it came to the mouth of the tomb, where it fell in, and I saw it no more.

...and I saw it no more.

Google is a great tool that I use hundreds of times a day. I love Google. But it is inadequate for what we are most deeply using it for. Only the offer of Christ can satisfy what our hearts are most deeply looking for... we don't want answers at our deepest level. We want to be complete. We want to know that we are OK and that we are loved. Unfortunately, Google does not love us. Fortunately, Christ DOES love us... even with all our junk, trash, darkness and pain.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

Is God needed?

I just read this article on how a dozen New York City subway stations will be adorned with ads asking the question: "A million New Yorkers are good without God. Are you?" on October 26th. The event is being called "a coordinated multi-organizational advertising campaign designed to raise awareness about people who don't believe in a god", and is being organized by the Big Apple Coalition of Reason.

Michael De Dora Jr., executive director of the New York Center for Inquiry, another of the associated atheist groups had this to say on the objectives of the event:

First, the coalition hopes the promotion will enhance awareness of New York City's secular community. He explained that the coalition also hopes to encourage "talking and thinking about religion and morality," as well as support involvement in groups that encourage a sense of a social community for non-believing New Yorkers.

I'd like to reply to these in turn --

1. The coalition hopes the promotion will enhance awareness of New York City's secular community.

Basically, to me, this means that atheists want to find and hang out with other atheists. I got no problem with that. We all search for community and acceptance among those who think similarly.

2. The coalition also hopes to encourage "talking and thinking about religion and morality."

I guess mission accomplished, since this is exactly what I'm doing through this blog post...

So lets talk a little about religion and morality... "A million New Yorkers are [morally] good without God," I would agree in one sense but push back a bit in another sense. De Dora mentions later in the article that people "don't need religion to be good people and productive members of society." I'd agree with that... mankind on the whole has an ethical moral system integrated into their being... some call it the moral law. You don't need religion or belief in God to make use of that. We can follow civil code just fine without even bringing God into the mix. However, religion -- true religion is not moralism. It was never intended to be. God does not exist to tell us right from wrong. Now, don't get me wrong, He did tell us what was right and wrong... but that's not His whole purpose nor His main purpose. So to state that religion isn't needed based on moral goodness existing apart from belief in God is reductionist and honestly, a straw man argument.

3. The coalition finally wants to support involvement in groups that encourage a sense of a social community for non-believing New Yorkers

Again, not much of a problem here. If you seriously have convictions about something, you should live it out. Atheists have as much a right to promote their worldview as Christians do (and I'm not really a fan of the billboards).

A few other thoughts...

I am pretty OK with this demonstration. I think for too long we Christians have lived inside an ivory tower of protection with our Christian music and Christian authors and Christian camps ad nauseaum. What I'd really like to see is more interaction between faiths (including those who claim none). I'd like to see real Christianity emerge to the forefront of what people see and know it to be rather than the caricatures that plague the airwaves now. The mission of God is too important to be degraded and defamed by His own so-called "followers."

If you are a Christian...

Please do not make the same mistakes as some of our predecessors. Hold on to what is good and reject what is evil. Help restore Christianity to its true biblical nature. Be a good steward of the faith you have been given. It is a tall charge, but through the power of the Holy Spirit, honesty about our own faults and humility towards others we can succeed.

If you are not a Christian...

Speaking on behalf of collective Christianity -- I am sorry for our mistakes. We owed you better than how we treated you. I am sorry for my faults and for how I've hurt you personally. I am sorry that for you Christianity has been reduced to a list of do's and don'ts that seem superfluous in today's culture. I am sorry that horrible horrible things done in Jesus' name have blemished your thoughts of who He truly is. Please don't let the mistakes of mere humans posturing themselves with the almighty name of God get in the way of God Himself. He does exist and He seeks to know you and you Him.

The truth is that the biblical story is about a good God who created all that you see in perfect beauty and harmony. Humanity, in the first act of pride wanted more... essentially to be God. This plunged mankind into an enslavement and a separation from their Creator. However, from the beginning God planned a way to fix it all. He sent His Son to us to teach us more about Who God is and ultimately die in our place. This act of sacrifice paid the price of our enslavement, effectively freeing those who would believe He came for them. Not only did Jesus die to free us from bondage, but He was raised from the dead so that no man that believes in Him would ever die again. Instead, this secured for us eternal community with the Creator God of the universe. The story of the bible is one of redemption. It's all about huge screw-ups and how God repairs and restores and even improves upon our failures. Ultimately so that we can enjoy life together with Him.

The scariest thing I've heard in a while

Over the summer, I had the privilege to attend commencement ceremonies at Covenant Theological Seminary, where I am a student. A good friend was graduating, and I wanted to support him, but also get a feel for what I would be going through in a few years. At the baccalaureate services, Dr. Bryan Chapell, president of Covenant Seminary preached a profound message to the graduates. This message scared the pants off of me because of the implications of what he spoke. The extreme amount of responsibility that is placed on the preacher is such a humbling ordeal, that the only relief is in the fact that you have Divine Guidance in preparing and speaking the Word. I remember thinking at the time, and still wonder if I will be up to the task of preaching the Word. Here is an expanded version of the same message given at The Gospel Coalition conference this past April. The source text is 2 Timothy 3:10 - 4:5.

Set aside an hour or so and reflect on the power of the words he is speaking to you here.

Books that will save your life

I've been on an "organization" kick lately. I've decided that I depend on my brain too much to do things for me. And with all the different places I go and things I do, I decided it was time to start streamlining and getting into some good habits.

My first step in this process deals with these three little black books. I plan on carrying these with me everywhere (step 2 comes later) from now on.



From top to bottom...

Moleskine notebook -- I've noticed that I tend to forget a lot of things, especially what church was about the week prior etc... So I started carrying one of these to take notes from week to week. I think I might start expanding into writing random thoughts / profound things I come across in my daily life. This is an important habit that I resisted for a long time... I didn't want to be a journaler. But, I think as long as its on my terms, I'm OK with it... its my journal, so what I want to write is what I write. I don't have to live up to the standards of other more poetic journalers that I envy, even if just a tiny bit. I really like the size of this journal, the elastic strap on the outside and the nice bookmark to help keep your place.

Life saving power: Allows you not to lose important thoughts, as long as you are not too proud to write them down. Makes you look really cool because its German (a la Sham-Wow) or something, and you act like you know how to pronounce "Moleskine".

Weekly / Monthly Planner (hyperlink not the actual planner in the picture) -- This is the newest addition to the "black book" series, and I finally broke down to get one. Last night, I got offered a part-time job at my church doing facilities work. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I needed organization of my time. Between day-job deadlines, school assignments, night-job scheduling, and social life I knew I was going to miss something if I didn't have a written reference keeping me sane. Being a good steward of my time will help me be more efficient and productive... especially during the school year. I chose this particular planner (it took a while to find one I liked) because it is actually a faux leather encasement around a spiral-bound planner insert. On most planners, the spiral binding was exposed, which I didn't like (kept getting caught on things). Also, size (length/width, as well as thickness) played a big factor in choosing this particular planner.

Life Saving Power: Allows you to not miss anything important, as long as you are not as forgetful about writing things you have to do in the planner as you are forgetful about where you need to be.

ESV Thinline Bible (Bonded Leather) -- This one should come as no surprise to anyone who is at least an acquaintance with me. I really like the ESV. I chose this particular bible to replace my previous ESV because that one didn't really fit well in my school bag along with my other books. Also, the leather was really soft, so when I did put it in there, I had to be extra careful that I didn't curl the corners of the cover. I ended up giving that bible to a friend who needed a personal-sized bible but was too money conscious to splurge for one. Plus, my current bible has a better feel and size to it. I call it the "marry and bury bible" since I could use it for weddings and funerals if needed... just plain black.

Life Saving Power: In this book are eternal truths that can ultimately TRULY save your life. This book contains the "power of God for salvation to everyone who believes." The fact its an ESV is just an added bonus. If you can only get one of the 3 books mentioned, get this one. Heck, if you can't get this one based on some financial or logistical issue, let me know and I'll get you one. EVERYONE should have one of these.

So these are the 3 books that will save your life. Ok, so maybe only one TRULY has the power to save your life, but all 3 can be very beneficial and helpful. As long as you are disciplined enough to use them all correctly (especially #3).

Some perspective from Star Wars

I've been keeping up on the development of a certain Star Wars game that I'm really excited about that will be coming out in the next year or two. Every Friday, the company developing the game releases something new that gives the gaming community some more information to make them drool. One week it might be the announcement of a new planet to explore, and next week maybe an article from a developer for a "behind the scenes" look at game development. I'm a frequent reader, but hardly post myself, since I don't really ever have anything useful to add.

However, I've noticed a trend that I'm sure applies to a lot of different areas, including my own life (more on that in a bit). Regardless of what the update is for the week, it seems anyone can find a reason to complain or ask for more. There is no sense of satisfaction. It seems that a lot of this gaming community feel entitled to "special" information that is always exactly what they were looking for... tailored specifically to them.

What often goes unnoticed though, is the fact that ANY update that gets made is totally at the discretion of the company. They don't HAVE to provide updates on a weekly basis... or at all. But they CHOOSE to provide updates to the community to allow them to be excited about the game, and to know that they, as a company, appreciate the community. They want the community to tell their friends about the game, to get them excited about it and to ultimately, look forward for the day when the game comes out and everyone can enjoy it.

These thoughts got me to thinking about my own life and my relationship to God. When things happen in my life that I'm not too particularly fond of, am I quick to tell God how things should have went, or am I thankful that there is a God who loves me who is with me throughout the rough time? Do I get excited about that God who sent his own Son to take my place, to pay for my debt so that I might someday enjoy life with God? Am I moved to the point that I tell, even implore others to follow the path I have taken and start living the Christian life? Am I actually looking forward to the day when Christ returns and this world is restored to the creation God had intended before sin and we spend eternity in His presence?

Or am I only excited or complaining about a computer game I may play for 6 months?

Gospel Smackdown