Steampunk computer desk

Another look at the Steampunk house, which has had more projects finished. I'm really inspired by the total conversion.



Here's a link to the whole gallery.

Tron Legacy Trailer

December 17, 2010.

Canada Loves Hockey

Ladybug

Last night I was working up at the church, and had some down time. Since there was only one class in the building things were really quiet. I took some time to just walk around the church and think and pray, which is a pretty uncommon thing for me... taking time to slow down. I made it over to the west lobby and notice at my feet a little ladybug crawling on the floor. I walked right past it... then doubled back. My first thought was: "Yep, it's getting to be that time of year when ladybugs are everywhere..."

But then, I thought harder.

I noticed where this little guy was going... farther into the church. Farther away from anywhere a ladybug would naturally survive. And it really struck me how *sure* this little bug felt about what it was doing. It never paused to re-think its direction... it never slowed down. It just kept going. I got behind it and put my cheek to the floor to see what it saw. The vast expanse that is the Windsor Crossing lobby. Because of the color of the tile, it reminded me of a desert. It crawled in one direction for a while, then headed for the wall. Climbed up a bit, then back down and back the direction it came. I wondered if this thing really knew what it was doing or if it even cared.

Then it hit me. I'm that ladybug.

I'm predominantly analytical and logical with how I approach things, so work and effort to achieve goals are my bread and butter. If I have a problem, I can find a solution. However, when applied to my walk with Jesus, this has become a hindrance. I rely on my own solutions, my own machinations of what needs to change to achieve the goal... and I don't look up to see that I'm just wandering aimlessly in a desert. Without a clue what I'm doing, and without a care to know that I'm totally missing it.

Reflecting on myself in this manner caused me to get a bit emotional.

I have been so proud of who I've become that I've forgotten to see if God is proud of who I've become. I've forgotten that ultimately, it's not my praise that matters, but his.

This is of infinite importance because though I might be proud of myself... its only in parts of my life. The other parts, well... how could anyone be proud of those parts? So, they get stuffed down and forgotten... but their effects are always felt. This is why relying on our own praise is so destructive. We know ourselves so well... and we hate a lot of what we see. But God... God *somehow* can look past our failures and messiness and love us just the same. In fact, not only does he love the messy us, but he promises to clean us up... to make us like his own son. What an interesting exchange.

This is the truth I've been missing and am still struggling to accept on a daily basis: I am the beloved. Just think about that for a minute.

I'll admit, watching that ladybug I felt a bit like God. I could see where it came from, where it was going, and I *knew* that if it continued down the same path... it would die.

So, I saved it.

It didn't want to be saved -- mind you; it was perfectly happy doing what it was doing. I put my ID badge down there to let it crawl up of it's own volition and it hesitated. It actually stopped when presented with this option. Then, it went around. I tried again... with the same result. Finally, I scooted the badge underneath it until it was -- in some respects -- forced to come with me. As I carried it through the lobby and outside, I held my hand around it in a very protective nature... wondering if it would fly off and hide. But it didn't.

I think that God is, in some ways, forcing himself upon me. He sees where I've come from, where I am and where I'm going... and he knows that if I continue in the same direction... I will die. So God is going to great lengths to save me... continually day after day. Not just an initial "yes" to Jesus, but a more-better life now, in him. Lovingly disciplining me, correcting my incorrectness, chipping away at my stone facade to warm me with his love.

Its hard, it hurts and a lot of times its no fun... but it is good.

Persecution in India: Francis' Response from Cornerstone Church on Vimeo.

UPDATE: Apparently this video has been made private.
Check out: http://www.gfa.org/persecution/orissa/ for more information.

Google vs. God

I saw this video and thought.... "Wow! How cool would it be to see the evolution of my searches over the years!"



Not 5 minutes later, I was perusing my Google reader, and came across this article by Tim Challies.

Here's an excerpt from the Wikipedia article about the event his article references:

On August 4, 2006, AOL Research, headed by Dr. Abdur Chowdhury, released a compressed text file on one of its websites containing twenty million search keywords for over 650,000 users over a 3-month period, intended for research purposes. AOL pulled the file from public access by the 7th, but not before it had been mirrored and distributed on the Internet. While none of the records on the file are personally identifiable per se, certain keywords contain personally identifiable information as a result of the original searcher typing in his or her own name (ego-searching), as well as address, social security number, and other personal information. And since each user is identified on this list by a unique sequential key, it enables a researcher to compile a given user's search history. The New York Times was able to locate an individual from the released and anonymized search records by cross referencing them with phonebook listings. Consequently, the ethical implications of using this data for research are under debate. AOL acknowledged it was a mistake and removed the data, although the files can still be downloaded from mirror sites. Additionally, several searchable databases of the report also exist on the internet.

So yeah... this story is almost 4 years old, but this was the first I heard about it... so there.

But this got me thinking... I wonder what Google's perspective of me is. He (for the sake of writing, Google is a man) has listened patiently to everything I've told him for YEARS! He has kindly and efficiently replied each and every time to the best of his ability to provide me with the answers I was seeking. If Google could reply to me, offer commentary on our "conversations," what would he say?

Then I read things like this progression of searches over time from one specific Anonymous searcher:

chai tea calories
calories in bananas
aftermath of incest
how to tell your family you're a victim of incest
pottery barn
curtains
surgical help for depression
oakland raiders comforter set
can you adopt after a suicide attempt
who is not allowed to adopt
i hate men
medication to enhance female desire
jobs in denver colorado
teaching positions in denver colorado
how long will the swelling last after my tummy tuck
divorce laws in ohio
free remote keyloggers
baked macaroni and cheese with sour cream
how to deal with anger
teaching jobs with the denver school system
marriage counseling tips
anti psychotic drugs

And my heart breaks.

As Challies mentions in his article...

What is so amazing about these searches is the way people transition seamlessly from the normal and mundane to the outrageous and perverse. They are, thus, an apt reflection of real life. The user who is in one moment searching for information about a computer game may in the next be looking for the most violent pornography he can imagine... These searches are a glimpse into the hearts of the people who made them.

Think about the massive weight that Google would be under if he were actually a human confidant of such information! How could ANYONE handle this?

One way of dealing with our meaningless cares and desires on one hand and our deepest darkest trash at the same time is to be an emotionless being who cared nothing at all about what happened to us. This is the picture of what Google actually is. It is designed to answer, not care. It is designed to produce results, not fix the problem.

However, what if there was a being that cared so greatly for your concern about the "kanye west vs. taylor swift" stuff AND cared to the same degree about your "why shouldn't i commit suicide" stuff? What would that look like to you? What if instead of getting a result that led you down a path that you can never be sure of, there was a being whose sole purpose was to take your shortcomings and mold them, restore them, fix them to where you look beautiful in his eyes? But not only his eyes, but your eyes as well. Can you imagine being in a place where that search history is gone? Totally wiped away? No more do you have to deal with the shame about that time in grade school where this thing happened that you can't talk to anyone about.

This is the picture of Jesus Christ. Jesus endured the weight of all our multitudinous ramblings -- good, bad and in-between. He carried it all for us on the cross where he died WITH them, and was raised victorious OVER them a few days later.

John Bunyan in Pilgrim's Progress creates a wonderful picture of this:

Christian ran till he came to a hill; upon it stood a cross, and a little below was a tomb.

So I saw in my dream, that just as Christian came up to the cross, his burden loosed from off his shoulders, and fell from off his back, and began to tumble, and so continued to do till it came to the mouth of the tomb, where it fell in, and I saw it no more.

...and I saw it no more.

Google is a great tool that I use hundreds of times a day. I love Google. But it is inadequate for what we are most deeply using it for. Only the offer of Christ can satisfy what our hearts are most deeply looking for... we don't want answers at our deepest level. We want to be complete. We want to know that we are OK and that we are loved. Unfortunately, Google does not love us. Fortunately, Christ DOES love us... even with all our junk, trash, darkness and pain.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

Putting the cart before the horse

Francis Chan recently wrote an article about the role of leaders, and missteps they can take along the way. You can read the whole article here... and you should.

I wonder if the inconsistency in my walk with God has anything to do with the fact that I can lead a “successful” church in America without being in love with Jesus. I’m sure I could blame American church culture, my position, or a busy schedule for my lack of reverent intimacy. The truth, however, is that my sin and hypocrisy is a result of me.

I've been working through this topic for a long time. How do I foster and grow an authentic love for Jesus that naturally leads to devotion in prayer, reading and ministry rather than shoe-horning my devotions to foster a love for Christ? I'm in essence, putting the cart before the horse it seems. However, its been so ingrained in me that I *must* spend time in prayer or I *must* read the scriptures daily or I *must* ______________ (fill in the blank). That this life united with Christ does not look the way that others seem to see it. In fact, it changes from a full life to a mediocre job.

God speaking to the church in Ephesus says:

I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. (Revelation 2:2-4)

God recognizes their good works, but that doesn't stop him from letting them know that they are forsaking him. He even calls them to repent or else!

My takeaway here is that Tim Bounds was right (he always is... the sooner you recognize that, the easier it will get). Tim, in reference to my driving, said I was "a bit oblivious to my surroundings." Now, I feel that DEFINITELY applies to my driving, but it also applies to my spirituality. Why don't I feel like I'm in love with God? Why do I feel like this is more of a chore than a pleasure? Looking at it through this lens seems to display that it's because I'm oblivious to the work that God is doing and has done in me. I'm oblivious to the fact that I am a unique creation, designed for a specific divine purpose. Though I'm reminded weekly of these truths, I forget. I forget to love God.

God, I pray now that you would awaken me to your movements. Ignite in me a desire for you that is reflective of what you have already done for me. God, may I never forget to love you. I pray that you would break down my feeble thoughts and attitudes and replace them with your thoughts and your attitudes. God, please fill me with an authentic love for you and your creation.